So what is really the difference between self-confidence and self-esteem?
Many people seems to think it’s the same thing. Maybe you all ready know this but I’ll say it anyway, they really are very different.

Self confidence comes from things we are good at, skills, when we accomplish a task, practice hard to become really good at football or singing or what ever other things where we get measured by our talent. And it can easily be taken from us when someone else beats us and takes our position.

Self esteem on the other hand has to do with how you see yourself, how you respect yourself, how you love yourself. No one can take it from you, when you treat yourself right you’ll always have you. (with a good self-esteem, a lost game probably will get you really mad but it will not change your feeling about yourself, your value is still the same)

To be honest it took me some time to put together this cause I’ve not always been so nice to my self. I thought that my value was depending on other peoples appreciation. That if only they liked me everything would be ok, If I only changes this or that maybe they would like me a bit more. Oh well, I’ve even stayed in relationships which I should have left long before I eventually did but at the time I didn’t really see what I was doing to my self in the order to please them. This goes for relations that had to do with work, friends, love and, yes, sex. (shocker ha, that love and sex can be separate, all though they often are)

The truth is, Only YOU can give the self-esteem level you are born to have. You are as valuable as any other living being on this earth. Remember that.

1.
Always keep a friendly voice when you talk to your self. You are your own best friend and coming from my own experience I’ve put my self through a lot of mean, unnecessary harsh words and conversations in my mind. I don’t do that anymore. I’ve learned to take care of my self no matter what. I am number one in my life.

2.
Love yourself enough to leave situations that isn’t good for you.
– If you don’t like your job, quit (yes, quit, I know that you’ve tried to make it work, you did. Now it’s time to do something else. If you signed up for an education that no matter how hard you try it’s not right for you, quit. When saying this I mean that YOU got to do the work here, no one else gonna do that for you, the effort is yours and you need to take action, don’t escape, the escaping will only work on short-term. Make a decision based on what You want, not what anyone else may or may think about you. What others think of you is really not your business anyway. Make it work or leave.

– If you are in a relationship that don’t seem to head anywhere, Leave, yes leave. This could be that you aren’t really in to the person you’re with or that the person you’re with can’t commit to you. And either way it’s not fair to non of you. I think you’ve all ready tried to talk about it with whom you are with, if you haven’t; do it. To be with a person that can’t commit eats you from the inside, makes you insecure and keeps you from meeting someone who really will commit. While you’re staying with someone who can use you for pleasure that you are so fast to give away because maybe they will keep you for the next weekend too, at least for sex or when they feel lonely. Honestly, you deserve better.
Yes, it sounds harsh, whether you are the giver or the taker in such a relationship, please stop. Leave. I’m not saying that anyone does this on purpose, sometimes things just get’s comfortable and we seem to draw up a dreamy filter to hide behind. Step out of it and treat yourself with respect. Love yourself. You probably would recommend a friend to leave if they told you that they had a situation like this so why are you staying? (this goes for both guys and girls cause these things plays out in both corners)
It hurts, I know, been there, done that and; I’m done with it.
Happiness is within you, not with another person. So stand up for your self, you are good enough, say it. I am good enough. I love my self and that will always be enough.

– Friendships that keeps you trapped in bad feelings. The one above can easily be used on friendships too, if you are feeling used or feel that you only seems to be their friend when it suits them. Dare to talk about it if you haven’t. If it won’t get better, find new friends. Honestly it’s better to have a few good friends then a crowd that most of the time don’t care. And don’t say bad things about others, it’s really just a mirror of how you feel about yourself on the inside. Start with that person, the one friend you’ve got in your soul. When that relationship is working you suddenly see the world in a different light. Family is also a part of this because we might not always get along and really, that is fine too.
The right friends sees you for who you are, for the extraordinary being that is you. when you feel good about yourself from inside and you’ve walk away from judging others you will attract the right ones on your way. and you will always have your self.

I’ve been through a few less good relationships in different areas and looking back on them now I realize that the worst relationship of them all during these times was actually the one I had with my self. That I allowed myself to put up with those people and/or situations. I guess I finally started to feel really uncomfortable and stepped away to see what was going on, then i step by step started to build up my values again, looked inwards and started the project of developing my self, by doing that I’ve also developed new relationships with others. I’ve strengthen a few old ones, let some go and found new really fantastic friends.

Reminders:
– Talk, people can’t read your mind.
– Your happiness comes from within you, others will not give you that.
– Stop saying yes to things that you deep down inside don’t want to do. One of the best words you can use is NO.
– Stop doing thing to impress others. Do things that You like for your self.
– Talk to your inner friend in kind words, like talking to a child, a friend, do it with love.
– Past is the past, you can’t change it.
– Stop comparing relationships and people with past experiences. dare to live and to try again with others.
– Stand up for yourself, Love yourself. Treat yourself with respect every damn day!

And, remember, the ones who never makes mistakes will have a very dull life, so get out there, discover, make connections, it’s outside the comfort zone your life begins, there is where we grow, if it scares you it’s a signal that you should explore it, people tend to regret the things they didn’t do so give yourself the chance to explore it. Be kind, and as mentioned in other posts, remember to smile, always, that will get you far on your journey and you will discover that it’s quite contagious.

You are an amazing being.

Love,

Want more on how to change your thoughts, read this:
http://catrinofsweden.com/2015/02/23/change-your-thoughts-change-your-life/