A while back I wrote a post about self-confidence vs self-esteem.
I would like to talk some more about this topic and this time about four strategies of survival.

A little background story; Last year I took a course in Sweden called Be Your Essence, It’s a program put together by Diana Whalborg who runs a company called Själens Oas in Gothenburg. I can honestly say that this is one of the best things I have ever done for my self. It wasn’t easy. The course it self was 13 weeks, 13 weeks of getting to the bottom with a lot of old patterns and behaviors, feeling and reliving, discover and reprogram, digging deep, restore and forgive. And last but not least; to listen to what´s going on inside, what’s my deepest fears, needs and dreams. One part of this was to listen, identify and understand four of the “voices” we all carry around inside of us, they either help us or keep us stuck depending on how we handle them in different situations.

Let me present you to the archetypes that we all have with us in our day-to-day life:
The Child. The Victim. The Saboteur. The Prostitute.
(yes, I just wrote Prostitute and yes, you will recognize that voice later on in the description)

These four are our biggest challenge in life, we’ve got them to build our soul strength such as Self esteem and self-confident. Without them we aren’t able to fulfill the contracts we’ve made with ourselves. We will be tested over and over and OVER again during our lives just as a reminder of how far we’ve come and what it is that runs and motivates us. When we fail to succeed with any of these archetypes, well, then we practically sell our souls for security and survival. These four archetypes also operate together all the time which sometimes makes it hard to identify them.

So, let me introduce you to, The Child:
Oh, this little version of you is magnificent, when it’s well taken care of, of course, as most children this archetype strives for things to be fair. It considers things, calculates tasks and situations in a way of “if I do this then I should be able to get that” and “how much freedom do I get in this situation”
The child wants to be taken care of, feel secure, have no obligations, let others take the lead, simply being naive.
The child acts extra loud when you have strong feelings, super happy, sad, angry, scared. And then it screams, cries, shouts, do the opposite of what’s told, becomes very little or runs away.

Take a moment to think of when and how your inner child talks to you. How do you meet that voice when it starts to making it self heard? Be aware of how it acts and talks and with that in mind and soul; make conscious choices that are good for you in this specific situation.

Now to the Victim:
Yes, he/she feels like they are the victim of everything. The feeling of this archetype is “ I don’t have the power over my own life, its others who are in charge of everything” The victim is often afraid of being alone, “No, I will stay in this relationship because….” I can’t resolve this problem now because of something or someone else” Feeling of Stagnation is very common. Also a feeling of having no power to reach what we are wishing for (outside circumstances)
On the positive side, The victim sends warnings to you via feelings when you are being used or to vulnerable, the victim really only wants you to Succeed and that you are being responsible with yourself.
The victim want you to feel like this when you think of your life; I decide how my life shall be, I take responsibility for myself and the life I live. I am in charge.

If you take some time to think of how our life is, in what areas have you given away your powers? When and where is your victim holding you back in life?

The Saboteur:
Aouch, this one I have had some fights with. I have been so tired of hearing that voice telling me that Nah, you’re not good enough, You will never manage, He will not even look at you… etc, etc. But, the thing is with this little (or big voice) that it is afraid of success and moving forward because then the whole world will change and nothing will be familiar, it uses it’s voice ti criticize us into not making any changes. You might feel like you get a signal or guidance to make a change/choice and you’re backing away from it. The Saboteur is not here to sabotage your life, it’s here to tell you how you are sabotaging for yourself when you’re staying in your comfort zone. Because every time that voice (really nagging one) comes up and starts telling you that this is a bad change, a stupid idea, then I would say that you are on to something that most likely would be really good for you.

What are you afraid of? So, identify in which situations this voice comes up: Start answering to it like you would talk to your best friend. Dare to change, dare to take on new challenges that will bring you more strength and happiness

Last, but not least, The Prostitute.
We’ve all heard it speak sometimes in our lives, some of us more often than others and some of us also give in to what it has to say way easier than others. How negotiable are you with your; visions, dreams, way of life, ideas and or future for security and financial survival? Do you stay in “dead” relationship or at a job because at least if gives you a feeling of financial security? Do you make choices that are not aligned with who you are or what you believe in due to fear for economic reasons?
This is like selling your soul piece by piece.

The solution to this one is: identify how this type shows up in your life, stop negotiate with your dignity and your beliefs for the cost of money. Its only when we have this archetype under control that we will feel strength in our souls on a deeper level and we really live the lives we should.
This material is translated from Dianas Whalborgs; Be Your Essence. Swedish readers located in or near Gothenburg, I really recommend to attend this course when it starts in the fall again, you’ll find information on www.sjalensoas.se

Make time each day for the next week (or month) to sit down and listen to what is going on inside of you. Take care of the Child, talk to the victim, prostitute and saboteur. Get to know them, become friend with them. Be your own best friend and treat yourself that way.

My saboteur and the prostitute were really loud last year when I decided that I should quit my job last summer and leave my life in Sweden and move to Amsterdam. Ah what the hell, I think all of these four were present at that time, a complete circus going on inside of me, telling me that it would be better if I just stayed there. So I had to give the child security, the victim time to feel in control of the situation, the saboteur had to point out what could go wrong and I answered with “well what if we succeed?” The prostituted was not so loud, it tried to tell me that I should stay at the job I had, otherwise; how would we survive? I told her that we are in this together and one way or another we’ve made it so far so I know that we will make it wherever we end up in this world.

When we don’t let these voices run our lives or hold us back, there are no limits anymore: of course you shouldn’t be reckless with your life, but you should definitely treasure your dreams and the visions that fires that spark in your soul. You are a brilliant person and you are meant to live a magical life. Take your archetypes for a hell of a ride and make a positive change in this world. In the beginning of this post I wrote that the course took 13 weeks but to be honest that was only the beginning, It appears to me that I will always develop my self so that I keep on growing and thriving and for that I will have endless use of the tools and things that Diana thought us.

Lots of love,
Cat